Independence Day

I first thought of spelling the title of this post as "Indepen-dance Day", because I should be dancing. Grant decided to retire at the end of the year. Yesterday he told his boss and coworkers. I knew this day was coming, but somehow I didn't believe it.

Why am I filled with a trickle of dread? Not despair, not sadness. Just a dampness of anxiety settling around me. When I told Grant, he was worried I didn't want to spend time with him. That's not it. I enjoy his company, and I look forward to our being able to travel as much as we want. I look forward to our having mornings together and weekdays, not just weekends. A whole new part of our lives.

Neither of us slept well last night, but we both kept reassuring each other that we were fine, individually and as a couple.

                            When I breathe in, I breathe in peace.

                            When I breathe out, I breathe out love.

This morning, I realized my stress isn't from Grant. It's all from me. I feel pressure now to get all those projects done that I had said I would do this year. And already this year is getting away from me. I fritter in the afternoons rather than tackling the things I want to shed this year. I will give myself one more day to dally, then the battle begins. This will happen. The boxes of photos, slides, videos and other mementos are not going with us to the next roost.